Sunday, May 10, 2009

KITTEN ON THE KEYS: “KITTEN” is strictly for adults. This is Kinky Cabaret with a capital “K”. One minute she is a Flapper-ette, then a Tin Pan Alley Toe Tapper who strums the Ukulele. Yep – she’s a busy one all-right.

Kitten is everything. She’s Marlene Dietrich, Betty Boop and Dolly Parton all rolled up in her Bra. In her new show – “Does this Piano make my ASS look Big?” Well, yes and no – it depends on the outfit that she’s wearing. And Kitten has hundreds of them. During the show she is in a Bridal Gown, puts pig snouts on her nipples and even has a pig snout attached to that place “Down There” – you know the one in the G. Spot area.

She dazzles the audience with her audacious antics. Some call her the musical “Snackcake.” Kitten even makes a gentleman from the audience come up on the stage to be humiliated. She sprays some whipped cream on her toes and makes him lick it off. Funny thing is, the guy was a reviewer for a newspaper. (It wasn’t me). He said: “Keep in mind that I’m here to review the show.” He was grinning – so he must have enjoyed the Toe Job.

This hilarious romp-slapping flapper is very frisky. While playing the piano – she entices a virgin-ette to come up on the stage and slap Kitten’s rear while she plays wildly away on the piano. Now if that’s not kinky to you – then you HAVE seen it all.

Kitten (Suzanne Ramsey) will certainly get your libido going to a ragtime beat. No need for Viagra at the show. Kitten is the ultimate Rock Star gone bad. Some of her faves are Alice Cooper and Freddie Mercury. You’ll see other favorites that hang on the back wall.

Upcoming (Ramsey) Kitten will be seen on the National Geographic channel about the History of Bras! And who has burned more than one Bra? Kitten, of course. She would be the perfect choice the N.G. Channel.

Kitten has dazzled and conquered audiences all over Europe, on T.V., and in the States. She is deliriously decadent. Watch those eyebrows. They move around a lot, so do other things on her body. But, of course – this is a family paper, so I can’t give out too many details. Oh, by the way, Kitten has also played Liberace’s mirrored Grand Piano. She’s cute and kinky. Her Original music is hard to resist. Kitten is proud of winning the “Golden Pastie” award at the NY Burlesque Festival for ‘Being the biggest tease’. And when you see the show you will agree.

TICKETS: or 1-800-838-3006
(Near Van Ness on Mission Street)
RATING: FOUR GLASSES OF CHAMPAGNE!!!! (highest rating) –trademarked-

(((Lee Hartgrave has contributed many articles to the San Francisco Chronicle Sunday Datebook Section and produced a long-running Arts Segment on PBS KQED)))

The Photo of Lee Hartgrave Boy Reporter is by Jim Ferreira – Film Noir & Hollywood Glamour.



Just in case any care out there in BLOG land:
Photos and such of us from the papers in the Loire Atlantique region of France.
Super Merci-
Here is what Kitten on the Keys and company are up to in FRANCE
with Mattieu Almaric's Film TOURNEE:

Sass! Sequins! Songs!

My photo

Bay Area native pianist and singer Suzanne Ramsey aka Kitten on the Keys .